With a dark mind and a heavy heart, I crossed my backyard to the kitchen, to fuel my emotional hunger. Charles Bukowski boomed through my thoughts, ‘Stop insisting on clearing your head – clear your fucking heart instead.’ With that, my minds eye took me to India, bathing in the Ganges. I imagined that spiritual emancipation and freedom of expression – and without contemplation, I threw myself into my backyard pool. That momentary fear, the ice on my skin reminding me I can feel, I am alive… the following thrill and ecstasy of spontaneity. I am free.
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